Sometimes

Sometimes when my day is going a bit too well
When I wake up with a smile, feeling the best I have in awhile
I decide to look you up to my my eyes swell
I stretch my stitches, tearing my hart to tatters with a smile

Sometimes when I'm out and about with a girl
When I'm letting myself love, dancing in the rain falling from above
I suggest shelter where I gave you that pendant made of pearl
your squeal was so shrill, and you hugged me tight like a glove

Sometimes there are days when Death Cab For Cutie just makes sense
When I listen to all our favorite songs and belt the chorus like you're still there
Bringing me back to jumping your fence for a photoshoot with a smile so immense
Snapping your portrait, fixing your pose, and letting my fingers find their way through your hair

Sometimes I type a type of apology, trying to trap your attention
I almost always press send, but in the end I delete it all and pour another glass
And instead I open up Insta and hope theres a new post and double tap, no discretion
Cause thats the closest I can come to contact, but I really don't want to harass

Sometimes its all I can do to stop myself from contacting you
I want to let you live but I can't let you live without me
Letting you know that you hurt me so bad that when I look at my ocean view
I dream of drowning in whiskey, that I want the sea turned to liquor just to se me free

Sometimes sometimes is simply more than just sometimes
Usually sometimes is something I need to keep myself in check
Manically managing emotions in a daily masochistic pantomime
Sometimes its all I can to do keep that noose from around my neck